Created to HOPE. Created to LOVE.

There comes a point where you realize you no longer know who you are. In a very literal sense, you’ve lost yourself. You miss the you that loved. That laid back, grace filled, genuinely happy person. That person that was made happy by the small things like the sound of a child’s laughter, the voice of The Father and the love of family. Life happens and we seem to get ripped to shreds. We feel like our hearts have been ripped out and replaced with absolutely nothing—emptiness. Sure, the world is still moving on, the noise of everything is louder than ever, but still…it’s completely silent within you. Not that good silent. It’s nothing close to peace. It’s loneliness. Pure pain-filled emptiness. It comes to a point where you don’t even like yourself. The thought of trying to find you again is terrifying because what if you can’t? What if you’re lost forever? It’s intimidating. But its something you have to do. With the help of the Creator, you HAVE to start somewhere. Even if it means letting down your pride and asking for help. Tomorrow is not only new, but it’s brighter. It may be hard work and it may hurt, but it always hurts to grow. The end result is beautiful, though. There is always hope, there is always light in your darkness. You weren’t created to live in misery. Chains werent meant for you. Freedom was meant for you. Love was meant for you.

Lately, I’ve dealt with certain struggles. Things that I never dealt with until a few months ago. I’ve always wanted to be transparent with people, to not hide anything. Yes, I’m a Christian. But no, that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with different things. I’ve noticed in Christianity it’s become a big thing to hide all of your problems so people think you live in this beautiful, happy world all of the time. If you look in The word, you’ll see that it was through their failures and weaknesses that God used for His glory. I may be the only one who thinks this way, but I’m able to talk more openly to someone who is transparent with me. If I think you live in this happy little bubble and never have a down day, I would never even think about sharing my heart and struggles with you. If someone’s struggling, you shouldnt sit there and act like you have everything together. That’s when they need you to be the most real with them. Instead of saying “you’ll get through this”, how about sharing with them your flaws and struggles but also letting them know they can overcome it. I don’t find arrogance appealing. If someone can bend down, hold me and share with me everything they’re going through without hesitation…they automatically have my respect. I may be rambling, but I think it’s very important for Christians to understand…We were never called to act like we’re better than everyone else. We were called pick up the pieces of a broken world. To shine a light in darkness. And yes, that even goes for other Christians. Everyone, even the strongest Christians I know have struggles. The thing that matters is Who they put their hope in…their trust…their heart. I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’re human. We hurt sometimes. It doesn’t make you weak or less of a Christian. It’s just another thing for God to use. Your pain can help someone else realize they aren’t alone. And sometimes, that’s all someone needs. Conclusion: love. Genuinely love people. Unconditionally. No matter where they are or what they’re doing. Even if it may be wrong, the love you show them could be the exact thing they need to get everything right.

The other day, I was listening to the radio and a song came on I’d never heard. Don’t particularly care for the band, but I decided I would listen anyways. One of the lyrics really got me, though. It said, “The hurt and the Healer collide.” At first, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. It didn’t really register at that moment what that really meant. We deal with so much emotionally. A lot of us have hurt and pain we aren’t even aware of because it’s buried SO deep within our hearts from where we pushed it down and decided it was best to leave it alone and not deal with it. Either that, or we’ve felt like our pain doesn’t matter, so we just don’t speak about it. But then…there’s that moment when everything’s comes to the surface. It’s painful yet beautiful. It hurts, but it’s healing. Everything old that weighed you down needed to come out, so that new could replace it. This is when the hurt and the Healer collide. You take all of this hurt, this deep rooted pain and all those insecurities, and you give them over to the Lord. You finally realize that you can’t deal with all that alone. So the Healer stands there with open hands asking you to just give it up. He takes your pain. Not only that, but He is then able to replace all that pain you felt, with His love. He is then able to start rebuilding those ruins you call your heart. That’s when He can create in you something new and believe me, when my God builds something, He uses only the best materials. Everything is top-notch. Nothing of low quality. He uses the finest and nothing less for His children.

1. Incorrect grammar and/or spelling.
2. When you’re texting someone and they take ten years to respond. (Just tell me you’re busy. I won’t be angry!)
3. When people use words that they don’t even know the meaning to.
4. When people cancel on you an hour before you’re supposed to do something.
5. When people don’t capitalize the “G” in “God”.

That’s all for now. I’ll think of more later;)

Hey girl, let’s go down
wash our hands
in the Carolina tide
Let’s go down and die
and come back like babies

Hey girl, let’s go down
wash our sins
in the muddy brown wave
Wash the world away
and come back again

All these scarlet stains
like the blood red clay
on the knees of our jeans
You can come out righteous
if you want babe
you can come out clean

hey girl drive all night
down to the water
and live like we’re alive
Let our sleeping die
and roll out of these graves

Hey girl, the water don’t know
the shore don’t care
who you were before
We’re not them anymore
you know we’re not the same.

All these scarlet stains
like the blood red clay
on the knees of our jeans
You can come out righteous
if you want babe
you can come out clean

Hey girl, let’s go down
wash our hands
in the Carolina tide
Let’s go down and die
and come back like babies

Hey girl, let’s go down
wash our sins
in the muddy brown wave
Wash the world away
and come back again

-John mark McMillan

I feel like I haven’t really blogged in forever. But through this time, I’ve gone through quite a bit. Emotionally my life has been a roller coaster. I’ve felt more broken than I have in a very long time. Now I see that it hasn’t necessarily been a bad thing. Sure, the feelings I’ve felt haven’t been wonderful and at times I just wanted to give up but I haven’t. Through all of this, I’ve come to know the Lord in a completely different way. A way I had forgotten about. I think sometimes we get so caught up in His power and might, and forget about His gentleness and mercy. We talk about Him bringing life back to others, but we so often forget that He wants to bring life back to us as well. Not many Christians today, even people that have been Christians for a long time don’t really know the real Jesus. We’ve made Him who we want Him to be. Religion seems to have completely taken over and I can honestly say, it’s not good. All religion says is “no”, “don’t”, and “can’t”. It always focuses on what you “cant” or “shouldn’t” do. It condemns instead of convicts. Believe me, im not going astray. I still believe in Holy living but The more I get to know Jesus, the more I’m blown away. Can someone really Love that much? Can someone really look past all my flaws, insecurities and issues and be proud to say, “I’m proud to call her my girl. That’s my chosen one. That’s the one I love and gave everything for.” I find everyday more and more, that it’s true. He thinks I’m worth it all. Even when the world hates me, He loves me just the same. Now, onto another thing: why do we as Christians, treat people who aren’t believers, as lepers? If we know all about their sin, how their living and they don’t believe the same way we do, we get straight hateful. Not to mention judgmental. If I’m not mistaken, we are supposed to act Christ-like, and I don’t see Him shining people. I see Him inviting those people to sit with Him. Why? Well because, you can’t show someone Christ if you won’t even go near them. Christ loves. Unconditionally. Is it wrong what they’re doing? Of course. Do we all sin? Everyday. Does He love is any less? Not one bit! Our job is to love, not judge. Sometimes I think we push so much on others, we don’t give them time to process anything. You cant make someone believe in Jesus. You have to SHOW them Jesus and then they have no choice but to believe. But you have to give them time to believe it. You don’t know what they’ve gone through, what they’ve seen and what they’ve been told. All you can do is plant that seed of Jesus, that seed of Hope and watch HIM do the work. It’s not our job to judge. That’s His. It’s our job to love. Do that and watch miracles unfold.